The Battle Of Pittsburgh, In Google Street View – Woot.

Nintendo Sixty-FOOOOOOOOOOUR – Youtube. A child is quite excited when he opens a christmas present that is revealed to be a Sega Genesis. JUST KIDDING! Oh man I’m funny. My favourite part is how the boy’s sister jumps up and down feigning happiness just to be “cool” in the eyes of her brother. Seriously little girl, grow up and be your own individual, I mean what are you thinking?

Where the Hell is Matt? – Team Fortress 2 Style – WeGame. Great Team Fortress 2 spoof of the internet video “Where in the Hell is Matt?” Space invaders never looked so good.. . .

The worst games that made it to number one – GamesRadar. A look at WORST games that have made it to the top of the sales charts in the US. What have we learned from this? You could slap “Pokemon” on a dog turd and kids will buy it up like gangbusters.

Not Everybody Is Losing Money (Just Ask PopCap!) – Kotaku. While our favorite game studios arelaying people off, PopCap games is posting an 85% increasein sales. Great, hopefully other game developers don’t see this and start pumping out shovelware “casual” titles using thier popular franchises. Metal Gear Solitare? Half Lfe High Stakes Poker? *shudder*

This one is pretty tough because he already is pretty powerful and has everything he needs. Looking at the past unlocks i.e. the Heavy you can see that the unlocks aren’t even a great improvement as much as an alternative. I can really only predict changes in the current arsenal (who really could have predicted the sandvich?)

I think that they smg is a pretty good gun especially if your trying to chase a spy and he goes invisible. Or just take out a scout that is running by. I think that this could be feasibly adjusted so that you have a extended clip. Instead of 25 rounds you would have 35 but of course the damage would have to be decreased. I think this would benefit trying to track a spy or take out a scout. Another route would be the Natasha scenario, less damage and slows down.

The sniper rifle is pretty good where its at. Its not the AWP you can’t kill with one shot to the leg, and thats how it should be. The only exception is if you charge up and make yourself vulnerable. I think a descent upgrade that wouldn’t be too aggressive would be a wide angle scope. Instead of looking through that circle it would be more like a 16:10 ratio. They could also mess with the charge shot but I’m not sure how that would go down.

I’m going out on a limb and saying that being able to throw a boomerang for a melee would be pretty cool. Limit 1.

BTT

Temp Fortress 2 – WeGame. Hilarious little video about what happens when the Team Fortress crew loses their jobs.

The 10 Commandments of Xbox Live – The -Minus World. If you’ve ever played any game online you know that Xbox Live is filled with annoying 12 year olds and various other tards. This article addresses 10 things that you should be prepared for when using Live.

Soul Caliber IV Character Creator – WeGame. This is a video of characters created using the Soul Caliber IV character creator, the catch is that they are busy making fighters from other fighting games. I can’t wait for Mortal Kombat vs. Street Fighter vs. Killer Instinct vs. Clay Fighter vs. Primal Rage. It’s in development, I know it.

The Top 7 Games . . . that Don’t Deserve Nostalgia – GamesRadar. I wasn’t going to put this up (because really Oregon Trail is one of the best games ever), but number one on the list is Final Fantasy VII and putting that at #1 makes any other bad decision in the list null and void.

FYI I R Spy – WeGame. Sprays can be so distracting. . . .

7 ways to spot an impending crap sequel - Games Radar. I personally have seen very few sequels and I’ve enjoyed as much as the original. This article makes a nice little list of hints that you can expect to ruin a future sequel. I especially like the Sonic bit, it’s totally true.

Things the Force Unleashed Won’t Unleash – Games Radar. LucasArts is one of those funny “family friendly” companies now that makes everything stupid and for 8 year-ohh i’m olds. THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS GENERATION IS OLD ENOUGH, I THINK WE CAN HANDLE SOME DISMEMBERMENT AND BOOBS. Screw Jar-Jar.

Yes, Even Oprah has Purchased a Wii – Kotaku. This just further proves the Wii’s worthlessness. I pretty much hate anything Oprah likes, because, well she’s dumb.

Madden NFL ’09 – Gamespot. Now I’m not a huge fan of sports, but i love sports games. I don’t really know why. Either way I love football and video games, and can’t wait for this to be released on the 12th. You can probably expect a review!

From a Distance

When coming up to an engineer’s sentry gun, the distance can be your best friend. When out of the range of the sentry gun, whip out your pistol and take it out. If there is no engie repairing it, you can take it out rather quick. If there is an engineer on it, try to aim for him so that you can THEN take out the sentry. Other than that, keep your distance!

Rubbing Noses

Getting up close and personal with an engineer’s gear can be hazardous, but you can take it out if you are fast enough. The trick is to “pop out” of corners, blast the sentry with your scattergun, and run back behind the corner. Doing it right you will get your damage in while the sentry is turning around to shoot at you. When doing this though, stay away from any walls behind you. A level 3 sentry can get rockets off pretty fast, and if you are next to the wall they hit you will take damage.

The “Boink” Report

Getting a bat kill on anything other than a level 1 sentry without an uber is pretty impossible (or just really really really rare), but to do it you need to employ the “Pyro Spin”, which basically means just circle the sentry hitting it with your bat. Hopefully if you don’t go too fast you will keep the sentry spinning towards you but never ACTUALLY hitting you. Good luck though, I just keep to my scattergun on this one.

Mediocre Game Babes – games radar. This is a good list of the game babes that we have forgotten. Everyone remembers Lara Crofts delicious figure and the ass load of crazy Japanese babes, but these are the forgotten babes who just aren’t quite the hotties they should be.

The 8 Worst Game Character Makeovers Ever – GamePro. Funny list about game character makeovers that went bad. I agree with all of them except Lara Croft. I found a more realistic English beauty more enjoyable anyways. The original Lara’s ta-tas looked like breast augmentation done in a Vegas alley.

Attack of the Women Gamers – Cafe. Turns out the number of women playing video games is increasing. That is a good thing! That means less “stop playing games and come cuddle with me and talk about feelings” and more “okay whoever wins this round has to do the dishes”. I can’t wait.

AVGN Batman Part I – GameTrailers. The Angry Video Game Nerd (fresh off the horror that is Superman64) takes on Batman games in honor of the Dark Knight release. Quote of the Episode: “I AM BATMANNNNNNNNN”.

and to finish off this rediculously male-oriented clix0r:

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Undergarments Worn by Women in Video Games – Heartless Doll. This is pretty bad. When you look at this you can tell that a large percent of games out there aim solely to give boys boners. I think the velvet strip across the nipple character was made by a sexually frustrated 13 year old.

From a Distance

If the heavy has a medic on him, GET OUT. There is no good “tip” or method I use to take care of a heavy with a medic, especially from a distance. Sometimes if you are lucky you can pick the medic off with the pistol, but I wouldn’t count on it. If you find yourself pinned by a heavy, try to keep him spinning his gun up and spinning it down. When his gun is actually in the process of spinning up and spinning down the heavy is completely vulnerable. What I suggest is to pop out of a corner and blast him with your scattergun, this will cause him to spin his gun up to try and kill you. Hide around your corner again until you hear his gun spinning down. The second you hear it spinning down, pop out of the corner again and get a couple shot on him until he starts spinning up. Keep this up and he’ll either ditch the minigun or try to run away, that is when you swoop in for the bloody, bloody finish.

Rubbing Noses

Rubbing noses with a heavy is where you can really have some fun with the scout. First, if he has a medic, you have to off his healer. Once he is solo, your scattergun can do a surprising amount of damage up close to this big guy (especially since he is so big, you don’t have to try VERY hard to aim and hit). Once his medic is done, be sure to keep moving around the heavy while blasting him from all angles, but you need to sneak up on him. If  heavy sees a scout coming for him, he’ll spin up his death machine and waste you in no time. Once you begin attacking the heavy, make sure to stay ABOVE him. Most heavies have 2D tunnel vision, they hardly ever shoot above or below them. Often times when a heavy is assaulting I’ll actually hop and stay on top of his head, shooting down hot lead into his cranium.

The “Boink” Report

Getting a bat kill on a heavy is a badge of honor, but the only really good strategy for getting one is to hit a heavy when he is down. A great time to try and get a bat kill on a heavy is when his medic has just died and he is retreating back to try and link back up with him. The heavy is really slow and the scout is really fast: hunt him down and bat his ass! When you actually do catch up with him, again try to move around and keep him spinning.

Being that E3 is cranking, I’ll attempt to stay away from E3 stuff and what E3 stuff I do mention isn’t the “huge” releases that you will see everywhere. This week we have a little crappy youtube video, TF2 spoofing, good ideas implemented poorly, nickel and diming gamers, and some classic crappy games.

E3 08: Duke Nukem Trilogy trailer is the worst trailer ever -  destructoid. They aren’t lying. This trailer tells us nothing about the “Duke Nukem Trilogy” other than the trilogy consists of Proving Grounds, Chain Reaction, and Critical Mass. Other than that there is just a bunch of hard rock with double bass and a bouncing Duke Nukem logo.

Neat Community Creations – Official TF2 Blog. Apparently someone made a fake website detailing the “Spy Update” which had the TF2 community quite confused. The creator’s fake site mockup is perfect and even fooled some of the folks at Valve.

Zero Punctuation: Alone in the Dark – The Escapist. Again our favorite Australian reviewer rips into a game with poor implementation. I of course haven’t played Alone in the Dark, but then again I don’t have ass-loads of money to blow $60 on games that almost everyone says is terrible.

Nintendo MotionPlus hands-on: blah – engadget. What? Nintendo announce ANOTHER peripheral for the Wii? I think thier plan with the Wii was to release it at a lower price with less graphical power and then nickel and dime the owners to death with peripherals that make it somewhat as useful as an Xbox360 (or god, dare I say) the PS3.

Angry Video Game Nerd: Superman64 – Gametrailers.com. The Angry Video Game Nerd reviews what a large amount of people consider the WORST GAME EVER. He doesn’t even get past two levels, which is saying something.

Team Fortress 2 Dispenser Mod – bit-tech.net. Some guy made a dispenser for TF2 designed to hold a computer. Why would you do that? I would make a dispenser that was designed to dispense sandwiches or SOMETHING. Regardless, pretty cool and I tip my hat to him.

Diablo 3 – blizzard. The speculation was right, Blizzard announced Diablo 3. They also have plenty of gameplay videos and other fun stuff. Just don’t be the whiney internet bitches complaining about the environment. It’s DIABLO man.

Call of Duty 4 Coming to the Mac! – #!/usr/bin/m3mnon. Props to a platform getting a game seven months after it was released for everything else. I mean seriously. I’ve already been obsessed and gotten over this game. But hey! It’ll run at 13 frames per second! Kind of sounding alot like my Wii. . .

Video game reviews: The best of 2008 (so far…) – telegraph. A good synopsis of some of the better games on the list. Although, I found it funny that Brawl was on there. I bought it, played it twice, and haven’t touched it since.

Zero Punctuation: LEGO Indy – the Escapist. Everyone’s favorite angry Australian Yatzee gives his thoughts on LEGO Indiana Jones.

TF2′s Heavy Class Next To Get Achievements, Unlockable Weapons – shacknews. Valve just now released that the next update will be to the heavy class. Specifically, trying to make the big guy more useful without a medic. This sounds perfect, being that when they release the update you won’t be able to find a medic within three miles of the millions of heavies running around.

Angry Video Game Nerd – ScrewAttack. The Angry Video Game Nerd reviews games that are. . . well crappy. He does it with comedic flair, beer, and usually nonsensical tirades of swearing. Give him a look, and for the love of god don’t get a Sega 32x.

Duke Nukem Forever Devs: ‘E3 is Irrelevant’ – wired. That is right, the developers of 3D Realms have such a good pulse on the gaming industry that they decided E3 was irrelevant and won’t be attending. I guess you have lots of time to know what is going on in the gaming industry while you are busy taking 10+ years to make a single FPS.

Wii Top7 – Most Anticipated Games – GameTrailers. This has to be the worst “top” list I’ve ever seen. Most lists like this go in increments of 5, but this one does seven. Why? BECAUSE THERE ARE NO GOOD GAMES COMING OUT FOR THE WII EVER. They would probably be lynched if they threw 3 more games on there because they would have to put games like “Billie’s Bar Darts” or “Another Wii Tennis Game”.

Ohio LIbrary Now Loaning Video Games – Joystiq. This. . . is awesome. A library in Ohio is adding video games to the list of mediums they will loan out. Unfortunately, it looks like they are only doing more modern titles. When I can go to the library and check out old NES and SNES games I will be a happy, happy boy.